Time magazine release this article on the Four Types of Drunk Personalities called appropriately Here Are the Four Types of Drunks, According to Science in July of 2015. (That is this year last time I checked.) I remember reading this briefly and paying not much attention to it other than some mild amusement. Then this morning I was listening to a newer podcast for me called Recovery Elevator (Episode 36) in which Paul who runs a very cool podcast talks about where he fits in the article.
So this made me start to think, which TYPE of drunk am I? So, here are the four types:
- Ernest Hemingway – the always on drinkers with no personality change; can drink all night without appearing drunk.
- Mary Poppins– oh we hate this bitch. (she says with a snicker) this is the male or female imbiber that can drink and be happy and perfect and smiley and giggly and everyone’s best friend
- Nutty Professor – this person is the introvert who uses alcohol as a lubricant to socialize
- Mr. Hyde – and then this dude. “particularly less responsible, less intellectual, and more hostile when under the influence of alcohol.”
So, I thought about it. I am definitely NOT Ernie or Mary. They are anomalies. I don’t even know them. Who are these people? Also, the picture of Ernest Hemingway is a bit askew considering he wasn’t just a well structured drinker whose personality didn’t change, his personality according to his relations really sucked. He was violent, abusive, egomaniacal and selfish. It is historical fact but from plain analysis of this article, he could drink and drink and drink and not fall down basically. So maybe his attitude / personality was all the time sucky. Mary on the other hand, I don’t think she exists in the alcoholic space so from a “normie” point of view – we all know those people. Taking the article again from face value that we are looking at drunk people in there “moment” then we all know a Mary. I know a Mary and this woman just smiles and smiles and is really annoying. It is the type of woman that doesn’t get out much and when they do they can handle their alcohol and just get increasingly blah blah blah. I would just like to street fight them. Open up the octagon.
So now that I have attacked a few drunk types (hell I am allowed to, it’s Friday), I can identify with the Nutty Professor and Mr. Hyde and they shifted over time. I started drinking as a Nutty Professor but turned in Mr. Hyde real fast. Even in my early drinking days, every drunk turned into something that erased all intelligent thinking and I would be more irresponsible and definitely hostile. This is how a typical “going out” might look like and from a specific remembrance:
- Nutty professor (me) gets the night rolling at home with a glass or two to loosen up.
- Typically followed by dinner and drinks (the Nutty Professor and Mary are now being channeled through my personality shifts) I am happy, engaging and as soon as dinner is over; what’s next. I have no time to sit and sip coffee, it is game on.
- Bars, bars, bars. Mr. Hyde appears. Mood shifts to MOODY. Drunk, slurry type of person. I might disappear on you and take the wrong subway home the wrong way (irresponsible) or drive home (irresponsible) and god dammit if you try and stop me. (hostile)
This was my typical pattern. You can pretty much insert any phase or time in my life and I can track it down. That violent shift from Nutty to Hyde actually became more 99% Hyde, forget about Nutty toward the end. At that point I was more of the “fuck” the social anxiety and when do I start drinking to just get done.
Little anecdote, there is a type of wine called Jekyll. My husband took a bottle of it and added a sticker tape that said & Hyde. He put it on top of our kitchen cabinets as a reminder of what I am like when I drink. I have since asked him to remove it because it started to make me very sad. However, I have not forgotten.
Ask yourself, what kind of drunk are you?